Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Too Afraid

I saw a young girl, seventeen or eighteen
So so high, stumbling, with a guy that
She orbited about, older, not wasted
In a horrible part of town.

He had taken over her life.
I imagined prostitution and
But I made a terrible mistake

I didn't intervene
I did not intervene.
I was too afraid.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Someone Tonight

Someone tonight told me
That they would drop by and
Spend some time with me.
They seemed to be saying

That they thought I was interesting.
But that wasn't true. They
Didn't show up they
Left me high and dry.

I don't quite get it. I'm
Pretty straightforward, I
Tell people what I mean and
Am lost when they deceive.

Why would they say that they
Want to be with me when,
It turns out that they choose to
Drop me to the side.

A Strange Change Day

I told my therapist that
I cut last night and
Then I cut again and
I didn't know why.

All the last month things were bad.
I hurt. I triggered. I depressed darkly,
And all that time I wondered
Why I didn't cut.

That's what I do when things are hard.
I cut cut cut and it helps me.
But when it was bad all last month, no.
And now things are better and cut cut cut.

So. Walking home from the therapist
I eat and get a beer or two and
Walking home I keep seeing great
Attractive women and thinking

I should get a girlfriend.
I should get a girlfriend.
This is such a shift. I never believe
In the possibility of that.

I think that they won't want me
If they knew who I was they would
Be horrified. That they couldn't
Ever ever ever want me.

Now all of a sudden I think that
I should get a girlfriend?
Just like that?
That is so confusing.

Who am I?
Es tan extra├▒o.
No puedo comprender.
Claro, que barbaro.

The last three lines in Spanish mean that It is so strange -- I can't understand -- Clearly, how barbaric, with the last having the sense that it is outside the normal realm of understanding.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

She Loves She

Now sad the other way
She, enamoured,
Stars in her eyes.

The other unaware
Shares pics of cute guys
Never seeing the pain.