Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Karen Slays Me

I see that Karen posts a poem - sonnet
And Oh, my heart leaps, it's so exciting
She used enjambment and slant rhyme to get
A perfect poem, a passionate poem, a read

Of spell and stillness and ravished spirit
A conceit, spellbound as sudden passion
Images of scent and sight and sound get
Almost too powerful - such sensation stuns

Me, agonizing alliteration
Like all device brings me to sudden tears
Such joy fills my heart I barely think when
I read, reread, ponder, and drink my beer

And sigh, undone, I'm slain by her power
I sip the poem and then my beer and purr

Monday, May 1, 2017

Too Much Support? So hard

There were all these people who
Wanted to support me with backpacks
That represented folks like me who died
Because I don't know. Who knows?

They killed themselves exactly as
I sometimes want to and that was HARD
but there were also people who much
To my amazement did not want to guilt me

Because I am who I am. Maybe you should
Know that guilting someone who is at risk for
Suicide is not helping at all -- it is hurting and
Risking and -- killing and

If someone is suicidal, how could you think that
Telling them about how they would hurt those that
Are left behind would -- what make things better?
You judge and hurt and make things worse. Are you

Trying to help? That is the opposite of skillful. You
Are judging and harming and shaming someone who
Is already suffering and is thinking that, it would be
Compassionate to lay the burden down and to pass away.

But these people really help. They
See me. They accept me. They know that I might die
But it is not because I am in some way wanting to
Harm others -- It is because am mentally ill. I suffer.

They see me. They see me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
If I die still -- thank you.

Why would you make it about you -- about
How my suicide would affect you -- how
My sifting down to death would somehow be
Something about you. -- Something about you.

Let it go. It doesn't concern you. If you
Can't help then, PLEASE don't make things so much worse
Please don't hurt me -- it doesn't have anything to do with you
At all. I am mentally ill. I am mentally ill.

Let it go.