Thursday, June 18, 2015

Speaking ONLY to my sisters/brothers.

Oh, what a strange thing for you to be confronted
With a poem from a mentally ill person.
Full of pain from abuse.
I am full of pain from abuse.
I. CAN. NOT. ESCAPE. THE. ABUSE.

I put that pain to sleep with pain.
I cut myself - that puts that pain to bed.
You look at me and see normal
You look at me and project normal.
I am not normal.
I am broken all of my life.
I am broken all of my life.

Does it seem normal to you
That I take an X-ACTO blade to my flesh?
The Z-Series blade is the sharpest
The longest lasting blade in the history
Of X-ACTO blades cutting flesh.

Oh, how I sorrow for you being disturbed
By someone like me that Cuts. My. Flesh.
Probably seems strange to you.
Probably seems strange to you.
Pain to combat pain.
Pain to put pain to sleep.
Pain to survive.
Pain to not kill myself.
There is an explanation.

Pain of the body makes the brain
Tell the body not to hurt.
Pain of the body makes the brain
Tell the body not to hurt.
PAIN OF ABUSE YEARS AGO 
DOES NOT TELL THE BODY NOT TO HURT.
Pain of the body makes the brain
Tell the body not to hurt.
It settles the pain of abuse.
It settles the pain.

I can survive another day.
I can survive another day.

Do NOT judge me.
You do not in any way understand
Unless you feel a pain like mine.
Unless you are my sister.
Unless you are my brother.
We see.

We see each other.
We love.
I love you.